"Sometimes you've got to learn to love what's good for you."

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"In the end, it doesn't matter how many breaths you took but how many moments took your breath away."

empire state of mind.

empire state of mind.

i'll remember these times

i'll remember these times

embrace it all

embrace it all

my little furry buddha

my little furry buddha
Proverbs 31:30
Jeremiah 29:11
Romans 9:25


thugz ferr lyfeee

thugz ferr lyfeee

fearfully and wonderfully made

fearfully and wonderfully made

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free falling

free falling

such a tourist

such a tourist

live well, laugh often.

live well, laugh often.

oh heyyy spanish.

oh heyyy spanish.

ain't no sunshine when you're gone.

ain't no sunshine when you're gone.

shorrrty.

shorrrty.

oh, how i love us.

oh, how i love us.

i love lindsey!

i love lindsey!

dreamland.

dreamland.

rocket launcher, best friend

rocket launcher, best friend

somewhere beyond the sea

somewhere beyond the sea

there's no "i" in team...but there's an "i" in WIN!

there's no "i" in team...but there's an "i" in WIN!

the price of beauty.

the price of beauty.

you're my cuppycake.

you're my cuppycake.

this is what good times look like.

this is what good times look like.

catybug

catybug

out where the sun shines.

out where the sun shines.

sweet like key lime pie.

sweet like key lime pie.

bus rides are the bombb.

bus rides are the bombb.

all that i'm after is a life full of laughter.

all that i'm after is a life full of laughter.

i absolutley adore you

i absolutley adore you

y e s .

y e s .

our sunday best.

our sunday best.

let's be friends when we're all old.

let's be friends when we're all old.

forever & always

forever & always

the two musketeers.

the two musketeers.

lovely ladies

lovely ladies

whata doll.

whata doll.

things go swimmingly

things go swimmingly

unbreakable.

unbreakable.

It's A Wonderful Life

It's A Wonderful Life

let's hear it for the girls

let's hear it for the girls

"We, we don't, we don't sweat we glisten 'cause we're women, say it, say it, say it."

"We, we don't, we don't sweat we glisten 'cause we're women, say it, say it, say it."

around the campfire.

around the campfire.

like cats and dogs.

like cats and dogs.

Hun er min skinnende stjerne .

Hun er min skinnende stjerne .

seester frannnd.

seester frannnd.

check us out.

check us out.

Pine Cove is where it's at.

Pine Cove is where it's at.

i [heart] awkward pictures.

i [heart] awkward pictures.

your love is strong.

your love is strong.

i'm alive again.

i'm alive again.
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oh glorious day.

oh glorious day.

some memories are just perfect.

some memories are just perfect.

this is how we do it.

this is how we do it.

lover boy.

lover boy.

sit back and wade through the daylight.

sit back and wade through the daylight.

Wrap You Up & Take You Home.

Wrap You Up & Take You Home.

To See You Smile...

To See You Smile...

we're totes adorb.

we're totes adorb.

you bring out the weirdest in me.

you bring out the weirdest in me.

Friday, January 15, 2010

maybe that's just me.

I feel like I'm falling and spiraling and I just can't get up. I'm sick of people, I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of feeling like I have no control over my life, and I'm sick that I haven't truly let the Lord have control yet. I'm sick of being me, I'm sick of being unhappy to be me. I'm sick, sick, SICK of hiding and holing everything up inside, and yet I'm sick of not being brave enough to let it all out. I'm sick of feeling like there's no one who really understands me, and I'm sick of having people in my life who understand me almost too much. I'm sick of life, I'm sick of my fear of death, I'm sick of loving too much and I'm sick of not loving at all. I'm sick of knowing exactly what's wrong with me, and I'm sick of not being able to figure it out. I'm sick of my parents, I'm sick of not having their respect. I'm sick of disappointing people, and I'm sick of my obsession to be constantly trying to live up to their expectations. I'm sick of hate, I'm sick of love, I'm sick of hope, and I'm sick of fear. I'm sick of trying to be someone I'm not, and I'm sick of hating who I am. I'm sick of insecurity, I'm sick of people who are fearless. I'm sick of the guilt that hangs over my head everyday, and I'm sick of not getting up and doing anything about it. I'm SICK, and it's time I got better.

But maybe that's just me.

3 comments:

  1. emmy, I'm sorry that you feel this way, but i think that you are just wonderful, You have so many friends that love you and truely care about you, and i know that your parents love you also, please dont worry about it. Emmy, im sure that everyone feels like this sometimes, even i do, and pretty much everyday i do.

    but if you ever need anything or someone to talk to you know that im here for you, ALWAYS.

    i love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh my gosh! i'm so jealous of the way you put all this stuff in your head into words on a computer screen! i've been feeling the same, yet not as bad as you. i'm here for you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. the pics on the right are so cute ;)

    love, caroline.

    ReplyDelete