maybe that's just me.

I feel like I'm falling and spiraling and I just can't get up. I'm sick of people, I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of feeling like I have no control over my life, and I'm sick that I haven't truly let the Lord have control yet. I'm sick of being me, I'm sick of being unhappy to be me. I'm sick, sick, SICK of hiding and holing everything up inside, and yet I'm sick of not being brave enough to let it all out. I'm sick of feeling like there's no one who really understands me, and I'm sick of having people in my life who understand me almost too much. I'm sick of life, I'm sick of my fear of death, I'm sick of loving too much and I'm sick of not loving at all. I'm sick of knowing exactly what's wrong with me, and I'm sick of not being able to figure it out. I'm sick of my parents, I'm sick of not having their respect. I'm sick of disappointing people, and I'm sick of my obsession to be constantly trying to live up to their expectations. I'm sick of hate, I'm sick of love, I'm sick of hope, and I'm sick of fear. I'm sick of trying to be someone I'm not, and I'm sick of hating who I am. I'm sick of insecurity, I'm sick of people who are fearless. I'm sick of the guilt that hangs over my head everyday, and I'm sick of not getting up and doing anything about it. I'm SICK, and it's time I got better.

But maybe that's just me.