errgh.

Looking through pictures on my computer & on Facebook today, I found so many photographs that I had forgotten existed! Along with bringing back memories, laughs, and "oh-my-gosh's", these photos also conjured up the all too familiar feeling of "wanting, but not being able to." What I WANT to do is gather up all these pictues and display them in various places around my house, so everywhere I look I get a smile. What I am NOT ABLE to do is exactly that.
Doesn't it suck when you have all these wonderful, wonderful pictures and you can't do anything with them?!
Errgh. I simply HAVE to figure something out!!

7 Things I Wish I Was

1. FEARLESS. I miss out on so many opportunities because I am afraid of what might happen. I am never the first one to put myself out there, and I rarely willingly do something that challenges me and pushes me to the limit. I want to be able to let go, to risk everything on the hope that I will gain everything and more back in return.

2. TALL. So many things are just so much easier for tall people. I don't mean average, 5'9 or 5'10. No, I want to be tall, model tall. I'm talking 6'1, 6'2-ish. Don't ask me why, I just have always wanted to be taller.

3. OUTGOING. I am so shy, and I absolutley hate it!!! I know it's a mind thing, if I would just stop worrying so much about what others could possibly think of me then I would be able to approach anybody. I know it holds me back, and I could meet so many new people if I would just let my shy-prone attitude go.

4. CONFIDENT. I have very low self-confidence, and it has proved to be a big barrier in my life. When I look in the mirror, it's a constant struggle between what I truly see and what my abusive mind tells me I see.

5. PATIENT. I have patience, but not enough of it. I want to be able to slow down my mind and let myself just wait and sieze the moment that I'm in, not worrying or awaiting anything in the future.

6. SELFLESS. I have several people in my life who completley sacrifice anything for themselves in order to bring a smile to someone else's face, and I look up to them immensly. I want to experience the rush of giving instead of getting, and I don't want to ever want for myself.

7. FILTHY RICH. I'm not greedy, but let's face it, money can do alot in this world. I have some big dreams, and I could help alot of people with that kind of money! ;)

you know better.

My heart is aching right now for the loss of a dear friend.
I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself, it's absolutley, positively STUPID, and not cool in the least. Don't you see that you're ruining your life? Your parents raised you better than this, I know because I saw everytime I would go over to your house as a little girl. You are a BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS, TALENTED, & WONDERFUL work of God that deserves better for herself. YOU deserve to grow older and share your talents and beauty and warmth with the world, but that's never going to happen unless you step off the road you're currently on. There is no judging going on here, just one friend deeply caring about another one, and wanting her to save herself before her life takes a terrible tun, which is exactly where it's headed. I am sick about this! Look to healthy, productive ways to relax, change, or make yourself feel better. Pray, seek counseling, or journal, anything but what you're doing, because you know that doesn't help in the long run. Please, please, PLEASE don't forget what we've learned all our lives, because I don't think I could bear seeing you any worse.

"If you've got friends like mine, raise your glass. If you don't, raise your standards."

[Title borrowed from the one & only Lindsey Robinson. :)]

Salute to Friends:
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

You've all been there. You've seen me cry, seen me shake with anger, and seen me smiling at my happiest. The difference between you and everyone else is that you stay with me after the tears, you calm me during the fury, and you come back even when the happiness is over. You all are my sisters. You are all lovely, fantastic, inspiring women of God and I admire each and every one of you. I am undeniably, indescribably, unworthily blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.

D- I have never met someone who makes me feel as at ease and comfortable with myself as you do. You make me laugh like no other, and I often forget that I just met you; it feels like I've grown up with you my whole life.
S- You are still the person I consider to be my original second sister. We've known each other for so long that nothing has to be faked, forced, or pretended. You're real with me and everything just works in our friendship. I've been so lucky to have you all these years.
L- I learn so much and grow so much as a person when I'm around you. You have an outgoing, contagious personality that makes me smile. I will cherish our talks, our laughs, and our hilarious pictures forever.
E- Everytime I'm with you, we make a fabulous memory. Our nicknames, pictures, wall posts and poke wars make my day everytime I think about them. You're so creative and I love doing interesting, different things with you!
T- I really should just ask you to live at my house, you're there so much! I guess that's why we gave you your own room...You are so silly sometimes, and I love that about you. I always know that I can call or text you whenever I need to talk, and you're caring personality always makes me feel better.
C- You're so amazingly sweet and I have to say, I love your laugh. Our videos make me laugh so hard I can barely breathe, and I hope we get to make more in the future, because I've been really missing you. :(
H- I adore talking with you about things that are important to us at the time, because I feel like we both are sort of at the same place in life right now. You understand me really well, and I know you're really listening when I talk to you. I also love taking pictures with you, your camera is amazing!

These just happen to be the friends that I thought about today, I love all of you other girls who make my life sweeter as well. :)

it's the stress of it all.

It's summer. The time of the year that is supposed to be carefree, relaxing, and just plain f u n .
So why am I so stressed out?

It could be my summer schedule:
-Summer League
-VBS
-New Orleans
-Pine Cove
-Africa
-Las Vegas
-Beach
-Pre-season (?)

I have NO DOWN TIME. It's crazy, this is the busiest summer I've ever had. But I don't mind being super busy; I actually kind of like it. So what's the cause of all this stress?
Could it be the fact that I still have school responsibilities over the summer? I do have to read and annotate two impossibly boring books before I go back to school in the fall, and I cannot bring myself to start either of them. I think that summer reading could quite possibly be the most aggravating thing I have ever encountered. I just have one question for the teachers: WHY???!

It might be the work, it miiiight be the schedule, but neither of those seem exactly right.The thing is, try as I might, I can't put my finger on exactly what's stressing me out, which causes me to stress more. It's one of those terrible cycles.

I hope I can figure out what's bothering me before the summer's gone. I'll cross my fingers.

hard to handle.

Today, I made plans for tomorrow with some of my best friends in the world, so I was happy and excited...
and then I logged on Facebook.
And saw the pictures.
And once again, that feeling of excitement was drained and replaced by feeling a little,
just a little,
okay, A LOT,
left out.

and i had the best day with you, today.

So my best friend Delany invites me to go rock-climbing at Enchanted Rock with her, her brother, her sister, and their friends. I figured, "Oh, I've climbed Enchanted Rock before. It'll be nice. Relaxing, even."
What she failed to tell me was that we would also be conquering the caves that run along the northeast side of the mountain. These caves, my friends, are NOT normal caves. The people in my group that had climbed them before warned me that if I was closterphobic, I should really re-think attempting the climb. Up until today, I didn't think I was closterphobic in the least. Boy, was I wrong...
So we get inside the teeny-tiny cave opening. It's pitch black, cold, damp, and there's unknown bugs and other creatures EVERYWHERE. As soon as I got all the way in, I wanted to turn around and go back, but I couldn't, because once you get in, the only way out is to climb the entire thing and come through the other side. I started panicking and all I could think about was how scary the rest of the climb was going to be. The cave was so narrow, low-ceilinged, sloped, and slippery that every step was treacherous. Since there was no light, we had to feel our way through the cave with our feet, and if you couldn't find a foothold, you'd better hope that there was someone strong behind you to help you out. There was one section where the only thing there was to crawl on was a piece of rock that was so sloped it was almost straight up in the air, and it was wet and completley flat with no ledges, which made it almost impossible to get across. While crossing this, my foot slipped and I was sliding a pit that was deeper than I am tall, and a guy in our group grabbed my wrist and pull me back up. I scraped almost every piece of skin on the front of my body, but I'd never been so grateful to anyone in my life!
Most of the cave was just one tunnel, but about 3/4 of the way down it split into two separate sections. If you continued going straight, it would be the same type of climbing we had been doing the whole time. If you turned left, you would enter what was called "The Coffin Crawl" or "The Death Crawl". You basically had to lie flat on your back and slide your way, in the dark, through a very narrow tunnel of two rocks. Being with daredevil Delany, we chose to do the coffin passage, of course. There was one section of it that was so tight, my nose scraped against the ceiling, and my entire back was scratched, matching my front from earlier. I felt like I was about to pass out, throw up, scream, cry, and die all at the same time, and it was the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my entire life. Once, I put my hand on the wall to grip something, and it happened to be placed exactly on top of a Daddylonglegs nest. The disgusting spiders danced all up my arm and I literally had to choke myself to keep from screaming. When we finally got out, I had never before been so happy to see sunlight. It was by far the most challenging, difficult, and dangerous thing I'd ever done, but I'm so glad I did it. I feel so unbelievably proud of myself, prouder than I've ever felt before, and now I am able to say that I braved the caves and conquered them. I am so glad I went with Delany, because today was a life-changing moment!

.

I love you, don't you see

You stole my heart in 1-2-3

I love you, yes it's true

You stole my heart

And I'm gonna steal yours too.

(((Little and Ashley)))

gratitude.

Our freshman year is coming to a close. I almost cannot believe it.


Thank you Mrs. Burton & Mrs. Boyers, for proving to me that a teacher can actually talk to her students like they are her friends. My English and Math classes this year were so much more enjoyable because of you two. Ya'll have set the bar very high for next year's teachers!

Thank you Morgan, Elizabeth, Gabbie, Courtney, Claire, Ethan, and Ian, for making Mrs. Ray's art class actually tolerable. That last day was so fun, and so many memories will come out of that class.

Thank you Samantha, Delany, and Courtney, for separating Lainey and I when we got in an argument in Biology. Sorry we were so grumpy alot of the time. :\

Thank you Lindsey, Delany, and Kaitlyn, for being "outsiders" with me at the beginning of the year. :)

Thank you Caty-lin and Cienna, for cracking me up in English. You two are so funny together!

Thank you all and others for making my ninth grade year one of the best. I love you!

truly, madly, deeply.

I have recently realized three things about my freshman year:
1. That it has been one of the most fun years of my life. I literally have laughed more, danced more, smiled more, hugged more, and loved more than I have in a long time. After the prison that was middle school, high school is like dying and going to Heaven.
2. That I have finally surrounded myself with a group of friends that mean more to me than I even realized I wanted them to. I literally could not have asked for a better bunch of girls to be brought into my life. I think I have finally found my "place" in the group- I'm not bouncing around trying to fit in everywhere. Every memory we make is a genuine one. I generally think that I am a happier person because of the memories of this year.
3. That pictures are pretty much the greatest things ever invented. Well, I knew that already, but these past few months have confirmed it. :)

"As I Live and Breathe" by Sara Richardson

"I want to live
And be remembered by how I have lived.

I want to breathe
And never forget who has given me breath.

I want to sing
And refuse to be silenced.

I want to laugh
And truly feel it in my soul.

I want to cry
And always have someone to comfort me.

I want to love
And know that love is beaming right back.

I want to talk
And not be judged for the words of my mouth.

I want to dance
And never know what it feels like to have to stop."

-Sara Richardson<3

i'll be up up and away, up up and away.

New Obsession:
KID CUDI.

Pursuit of Happiness & Up Up & Away are freaking genius. His songs are like feel-good rap, which sounds really weird, but you just have to know what I'm talking about. :)

Anyways, I.Love.Him.!

t o n i g h t. oh yes, tonight.

Tonight, some of my closest friends are coming over! And we're going to Alamo Cafe! FINALLY!


So, I guess you could say that I'm pretty dang excited. :)

this is what faith can do.

beach trips.lollipops.photographs.laughter.handwriting.peach tea.favorite songs.camp.traveling.growing closer.angel food cake.secret handshakes.inside jokes.magazines.bathing suits.hot summer days.bear hugs.nail polish.sweet little notes.long lovely letters.good books.fun memories.promises.bonding.grocery shopping.dancing in your room.singing at the top of your lungs.smiling so much you look insane.winning a volleyball game.fabric.papermate mechanical pencils.compliments.shopping.all-nighters.colorful post-its.curli-cues.old pictures.nicknames.making up crazy dance moves.making a bad moment into a funny memory.bike riding.praising the Lord.ice cream.figuring something out.random trips to the mall.stupid faces.hiding from someone who turns out to see you anyways.getting that one text you've been waiting for.footprints.finger painting.alamo cafe.close friends.new friends.all friends.brown sugar cubes.cookie cones.sweet strawberries.sharing.feel good songs.blogging.flower picking.cooking.knotted bracelets.plane rides.practical jokes.signature poses.hawaiian punch.old war stories.loving life.sunsets.starry skies.coffee.weird noises.backrubs.cleaning up.muddy feet.hilarious dreams.suntans.sleeptalking.fresh perspectives.revelations.raspberries.friendship bracelets.moments that make you feel alive.white girls ghetto dancing.picnics.redecorating.splatter painting.braids.boots and dresses.a good plan working out to be an even greater one.green tea.clear skin.bright smiles.candid and laughing pictures.feeling beautiful.thumb rings.stick figures.jumping.discovering a new store or website.really getting into a tv show with your family.getting along.letting go.dogs.baby goats.favorite celebrities in a new movie.adorable outfits.long straight hair.sour candy.contests.being so scared but knowing that your best friend is scared right along beside you.getting the last word.photoshoots.being yourself and having it pay off.happiness.

so this is it.

"hey now, this is my desire,

consume me like a fire,

i just want something beautiful."

asdfjkl; [writer's block, majorly.]

i wannnttt the beachhhhhh.

i have never, ever ever ever considered myself a beach type of person. I was always convinced that I loved the mountains, the cold, the snow.
Something changed.

ALLLLLL I can think about is how much I want to be at the beach! And although I would be eh, okay with a cruddy Texas beach, I LONG for Rosemary Beach in Florida. It is seriously the most relaxing place I think I've ever been to, and I seriously need that right now.

Goodness gracious, if I don't get some sun I think my pasty skin will start to blend in with the white walls of my room....

:/

If It Kills Me - Jason Mraz. look it up.

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me

i never thought i'd say that i love a jonas brother

but now i officially can. Ever since Nick broke out on his own, there have been song after song after song pouring out of him that are not only beautiful, but easy to sing and hum along to. He seriously reminds me of a young John Mayer. I wish that he hadn't started out as part of the JoBros because I feel like now alot of people have labeled him for doing only that particular type of cheesy, mega-pop stuff, and he on his own is so much better than that! Here are some of my favorite lyrics...

Give Love a Try:

You are like driving on a Sunday
You are like taking off on Monday
You, oh you, you're a dream come true.

And you can think that I'm a fool for falling over you
But tell me what can I do to prove to you
That it's not that hard to do?


Olive & An Arrow:

It's an olive,
And an arrow in the back
You leave me breathless
It's what keeps me coming back.



Keeeeeeep it up, Nick! :)

<3

for the right reasons.

Ealier this week in Kerville, there was a brutal car crash that killed four teen boys, some of which went to my high school. They were only sophomores, and it is a terrible, awful tragedy.
Although I am extremeley sad by what happened, and I feel deeply for their families, I am not going to pretend like I knew them and loved them, and now am depressed by their death, which would not be accurate. I didn't know any of them, so I'm not going to pretend like I did, which is what I see so many of my classmates doing. As I was looking through Facebook, I saw so many statuses saying things like "Wear blue tomorow in honor of R. K. M. M.". This would be coming from a seventh or eighth grader who I'm pretty sure has never met any of the guys in their life. The library at my school is open only for grief counseling right now, and so many students are simply going in there to "skip class". I'm not saying that you had to know them to show your respect for them, but don't you think it shows more respect to let the people who truly knew them to have their time to grieve? If you're "grieving" for the wrong reasons, re-think, because the people who were truly impacted by this tragedy need some room. If you're getting counseled but you didn't really even know who the boys were, you're just doing it because everyone else is, you look fakey, and everyone can tell. You're also being extremely disrespectful if you're using their deaths as an excuse to get out of class. Think about that before you "wear blue". Are you doing it for the right reasons? Or because everybody else is?

figuring things out.

1. I love you. I can't stand you. You make me so mad and fill me with so much happiness all at the same time. I don't get you, I'll never get you, but I want to understand you.

2. You're there for me, you'll always be there, but I'm beginning to question whether or not that's a good thing.

3. YOU'VE SAVED ME. Without you, I'd be in a mass of salty tears right now. I'd be clinging to past memories to fill my heart, but with you, I make new ones. I simply don't know where I'd be without you.

4. You confuse me. I think we're all good, and then I'm questioning where we stand.

5. I hate that you hate me. I wish it were different, but whatever.

6. I know that you are going to be in my life for quite some time, and I can't decide if I'm alright with that.

7. I hope that someday you will find someone that will make you happy, because right now it kills me to see you in the situation you're in. I can't do anything about it, and I'm heartbroken for you.

8. You live off of fruits and vegetables, and it's making me sick. I don't know how to talk to you. I don't know how to get through to you. I don't know if I'm supposed to help you or ignore the problem. But I just need to tell you, you're killing yourself, and taking my spirit down in the process.

9. You make me feel like the most special girl in the world. I love talking to you, and none of my friends even know who you are yet!

10. I can't stop staring at you. Please, I'm begging you, go to a different youth so I can focus!

11. People talk about you, but I'm not one to judge. I hope you someday stand up for yourself instead of just silently taking the crap that people throw at you.

12. I am unbelievably jealous of you. Let's leave it at that.

13. I want to give you a hug, because you seem so alone.

14. You wear these...shoes. And I want to rip them off your feet. Seriously, they're the only things I can concentrate on in class, and they make my eyes bleed. Not that I'd ever tell you that...

15. I simply cannot figure you out! Where are your values? What did you grow up hearing from your parents? Do you even know the difference between right and wrong?

16. I am (to quote Twilight) DAZZLED by you. You you you you you, but it's all physical. Inside, you've got a heart of stone and a mouth dirtier than mud.

17. I feel for you. It breaks my heart to see someone with your potential throwing it all away. I wish you knew how much we all care!

18. You, reading this. Yes you. No, I will NOT tell you who any of these people are. Learn to live with it. :)

ahhh, it's another quote post. :)

I seem to find an endless supply of quotes that I can't get enough of. There's too many to put on my mirror, but I don't want to let them go to waste, so here's yet another blog post entirely made up of fabulous quotes. :)



"I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer." ~ Colette, French writer

"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed." ~ Storm Jameson

"Whoever is happy will make others happy." ~ Anne Frank

"The best way to succeed is to discover what you love and find a way to offer it to others." ~ Oprah

"Warriors take chances. Like everyone else, they fear failing,but they refuse to let fear control them." ~ Japanese Proverb

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside of us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our touch, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit." ~ E. E. Cummings

"Gratitude will bring more into our lives immediately." ~ The Secret

"Unless we change directions, we are likely to end up where we are going." ~ Chinese Proverb

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Gandhi

"I'm so astonished at God's love, and I want to be captured by it and invite others into that process with me. God is good, and I want to celebrate His goodness, even in the midst of the confusion and difficulties of life and unanswerable questions." ~ Steven Curtis Chapman

"Dream no small dreams; for these have no power to move the hearts of men." ~ Goethe

yo tengo grande problemo.

Jealousy is a nasty thing,
and it's eating me alive.

I try not to be discouraged by other people's accomplishments, looks, grades, ect., but it just gets to you sometimes. I do realize that everyone is made differently and everyone is beautiful, smart, and talented in their own ways, and I have my ways, but I can't help wishing, "Why can't I look like her? Why can't I be like them? What am I doing wrong?"
It is so easy to fall into the jealousy trap, as I've realized these past few days. I went through this majorlyonce before, and I got over it, reminding myself everyday of my accomplishments, my favorite features, and my talents. I slowly moved through wanting to be like someone else, and I began to feel more comfortable in my own skin, more comfortable with what I can do. But then, I stopped telling myself that I was special. I stopped telling myself that what I had was worth something to the world, and I stopped remembering all that I've achieved. And I found myself spiraling back into the mouth of the green monster-jealousy. There is a sort of arrogance that keeps you out of being jealous. It is not arrogance exactly, because you should never feel like you are better than someone else, but it is the knowledge that you are just as good as them. You know that just because someone can take a better picture, get a better grade, or live a more adventurous life doesn't mean that you are worthless and will always be less than that someone. You have your own way of doing things, and if you like someone else's way, don't be jealous, simply look at what you like about it and try to adapt some of the qualitites into your own way. I have been struggling with this lately--I have just been getting jealous, no adaption even tried.
Even writing this post has helped me find my way out of jealousy a little bit. I know that throughout my life, there will always be someone to be jealous of, and I now realize that by reminding myself of my strengths and all the things I like about myself, I can be who I was meant to be with a clear head, one not filled with longings of another's hair, eyes, skills, or anything else that I think better than mine.

"you've got a friend in me."

My friends are the best, sweetest, generous, and most thoughtful people in the entire world.
I say that because they took time out of their busy lives to plan a surprise birthday celebration for me, my sister, and a friend with a nearby birthday, and it was quite possibly the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me in a looong time!
I was sitting on my couch, watching Hannah Montana and feeling like such a freak for not having anything to do on my birthday, and then when my parents told me that they were taking me out to dinner, I was actually excited to finally have something to do. Then, all of the sudden, two of my best friends in thewntire world bust through the back door screaming Happy Birthday, and I almost have a heart attack, but it was the best feeling in the world. I literally couldn't stop smiling for like, 15 minutes. We pick up another friend, and we head to the restaurant that they planned to take us to, and just when I thought that there were no more surprises, 7 ore of our friends are waiting for us there! I was so overwhelemed and thankful and amazed that they had been doing this all without us knowing, and all I could do was grin. On top of all of this, the friend who had done most of the planning insisted on paying for the three of us with birthdays, and even though I really didn't feel entirely okay with that, I just had to let it go and know that it was my birthday and she wanted to treat me, and I should just accept it! Anyways, they gave me gifts as well, which just added to the evening, as gifts always do. :)
We walked around the mall afterwards and I was still in shock of how much thought went into the planning of this, and how sweet everyone was to do that for us. Then, another big surprise came when I found out that everyone was coming over and spending the night!! It was so much fun, and as I write this, four of us are the only ones still left up, and I am just reliving how much fun tonight was. Thank you all for making the big 1-5 so special. :)
I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!

oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.

so today i am going to oklahoma city, oklahoma.
i am not excited.
and that's all there is to it.

let's get a reality check, please.

You know those people that post things like "I wish I could go back before everything went wrong" , "I have tons of homework-FML", or "I'm sick of all of this crap, it's making my life horible." on their Facebook statuses or Myspace updates or whatever? THEY ANNOY ME BEYOND BELIEF. We as Americans, living in Boerne, which, while it may be a little dull, is nice and safe and clean and better than a lot of other places. And we HAVE NO IDEA how lucky we are. Drama at school will pass, get over it. It is truly not that big of a deal. I'm so sick of hearing people complain about things that others would count as blessings, like the fact that our school cares enough about us having a future to give us homework and tests to help us learn, grow, and be able to do whatever we want with our futures. Did you know that out of the 11 million childen in Africa, only 18% of them graduate from primary education, which is to us, Middle School? They have no way of acquiring a job, they can't use knowledge to figure out life problems-they're on their own, and so many of them long to be educated, while we sit here and complain about the people who take time out of their own days to teach us and help us achieve the next highest degree of education. I'm not saying I enjoy the homework, or the tests, or the long, boring hours spent sitting in school, but i look past all of that and see the big picture. I appreciate what my teaches are doing for me, and I wish that more of my peers would do the same. We look so ungrateful and immature when we diss the people who are only there to help us.
Also, griping about "how everything turned to crap" is just plain aggravating. The people who do this are basically saying, "I'm so naive that I can't even see that my PERFECT, BLESSING-FILLED life really doesn't suck, but since I think it sucks, being so ignorant, I'm going to tell everyone about how much I hate my life, even though my "problems" are many other peoples' miracles." Yes, this is directed at all of the people who have ever said "FML" at a problem so minor as ruining their hair. & Yes, I AM NOT saying that I've never had a bad day, or something that I wish hadn't happened, or gotten mad over something miniscule. I have had MANY bad days, I have wished MULTIPLE times that things didn't happen, and I have gotten upset over tiny things too many times to even count. But the thing is, I'm starting to see how stupid all of that is. We are so lucky and we don't even realize it!!!! We could be in India, forced to hide under long black shawls and constantly told that men are and always will be better than us. We could be in Russia, a starving, toothless homeless child left to freeze out in the blizzarding snow. We could be in Africa, malnurished, infected with HIV/AIDS, and watching our children die before us, just waiting for our turn to come. I think that it is time that we ask ourselves, "Are our problems REALLY that big of a deal? Would we rather be doing seemingly pointless homework, or standing outside a schoolbuilding, yearning to be allowed to go inside but never getting the chance to? Does a ruined hairdo even compare to a death-stricken family?"
For everyone reading this, I don't want you to ever think I'm a hypocrite if I ever accidentally complain about something that isn't that bad. I am human, I have lived in this well off town my entire life--I don't know anything different. I know for a fact that I WILL, sometime in the near future, be angry about something that I know in my heart I am lucky to have. But I am saying right now that I am making a conscious effort to be more grateful and appreciative of the things I've been blessed with, even when they don't seem like a blessing. All I have to do is think about the kids who don't have them, and how very blessed they would be if they did.