like father, like daughter.

This is my dad.

We don't really understand each other, and we often don't agree.

...But I am one lucky girl to have him in my life.

contemplations

Tomorrow, at 4:30 in the morning, I'll be on a plane that will be taking me to a city that I have wanted to visit since I was a little girl. And I'm excited...really, I am.

The thing is, today in Texas was a blue-sky, summer-sun, friend-filled perfect day. I got a tan (okay, more of a sunburn, but it's still color) and I went for a bike ride with my hair down and loose. I didn't put a pair of shoes on my barefoot feet all day (not even to ride my bike) and I laid out by the pool, absorbing the heat and the fresh air and all that is good and glorious on days like this.

And tomorrow, I leave this beautiful weather to spend my Spring Break where it is cold and windy and still snowing in March, with the one member of my family who I feel the farthest from. What am I thinking?

Okay, so it's New York. The weather is not going to be that bad. The sights I will get to see will make up for the lost time in the sun. Hopefully my dad and I will grow closer as a result of spending a solid week together without the other half of our family. And I'll turn sixteen at the top of Rockefeller Center! It will be fun, and I'm looking forward to it.

...But I still can't shake the fact that I am beginning to appreciate things that I never thought I would appreciate. Like living in Texas, where warm days start to show themselves sooner in the year than many places. And the fact that I can spend the day outside, away from technology, work, arguments, and material possessions and still have a blast and feel at peace. Several years ago, I wouldn't have been capable of appreciating these small pleasures.

So I'm going to go into this vacation with great expectations. I'm going to let myself enjoy all that the city has to offer, and remind myself how lucky I am. I am going to bundle up, stick close to my dad, and try my hardest not to look like a tourist, and I am going to fufill my childhood dream of visiting NYC.

I know I'm going to have such a great experience on this trip, and I can't wait for it to start. This post was more about celebrating the fact that I am now really starting to see what it feels like to appreciate the home I've always known, and how blessed I am to be able to enjoy myself in two totally and completley different enviornments...

See ya'll in a week!

Switchfoot anyone?

I have recently found that I reeeeeeeally like Switchfoot.
A LOT.
I heard them growing up, and they've always been on my ipod, but they were just sort of one those bands that were just kind of...on there, you know? Other examples would be, hmm, Snoop Dogg and Elton John. Not on my typical need-to-listen playlist.

A long time ago, I memorized one of Swithfoot's songs, Gone. Last night, I found myself singing it, and I was surprised to still remember it, but once I sang it once, I sang it again. And again. And again. And pretty, soon, I was completely focused on singing that song rather than what I had been focused on, which was what had happened that evening (whole other story..)

I also love the song Enough to Let Me Go, which I first heard on my friend Lindsey's ipod. Both of these songs are currently on my mind and in my ears, and I think you should check them out. :)

because life's tough.

My mom shared with me a piece of wisdom today:

"You can't get to where you're going without accepting where you're coming from."

Thinking about what that means, I realize that it is so true. I have this problem with getting stuck- I often look at what is happening and don't think about ways to solve it, but rather how "unfair" it is that I have to be going through it in the first place. I have found myself, time after time, so angry and unhappy with the way things happen, and yet I choose to simply sit and wallow and pout instead of taking steps to change it. I don't know why I do this. It doesn't get me where I want to be. I recognize that I am doing it, and yet I still persist. I need to come to the radical acceptance that yes, unexpected, unfortunate, sometimes just plain unfair things will happen to me, but if I don't have the ability to accept them and begin pushing towards resolving them, they will stick with me, a constant thorn in my side.

It's time to stop letting my pain and anger hold me back from where I want to end up, because quite frankly,
life's tough.