frustration station.

oh, goodness.
volleyball today was...pure disappointment.
i wish i knew what i was doing wrong, what the others do that seem to make them perfect and valued in the coach's eyes.
what the HECK am i doing? i know i got put on the team because of my serves, and now i can't even give those to them. is it just a bad day? or do i really, really suck? am i always going to be this inconsistent?
i'm so confused. i'm angry, frustrated, nervous, unsure, doubtful, and emotional right now. this is the only thing i could think of to do, so here i am.

wish me luck as i possibly humiliate myself tomorrow.

i despise my name.

Emily.
so boring and common and disgusting.
it would even be alright if it was spelled differently, like
Emalee
or Emilee
or Emaleigh
or Emileigh
or Emalea
or Emilea.
but no.
it's just E m i l y. :P