wild at heart.

I love my friends.
That's all there is to it.
Sure, they make me angry, they disappoint me,
they don't always understand me, and they have given me so many things to be upset about in the past, but the fact is that,
they are always, always there for me.
I know we all make mistakes, and so I can forgive them for theirs, and hope they do the same for me. I truly, truly hope that we will be those friends that call each other daily after graduating highschool, when we all go our separate ways at different colleges. My mom says that she doesn't keep in touch with her highschool friends, only her college ones, and that makes me so unbelievably sad. Some of my friends have been my friends since KINDERGARTEN, and I am 99.99999% that we are not going to all of the sudden not be friends anymore before we graduate, and so I don't want to lose that when we don't see each other all the time anymore! We are BEST FRIENDS, SISTERS FOR LIFE, PARTNERS IN CRIMES, and LOVERS OF LIFE. My friends and I stick together, get on each others nerves, and then laugh and cry and hug and fall all over each other. We have a bond that will not give up, break up, or lose strength. I hope and pray and dream and wish with all my heart that we will go to college, do our own thing, and still be best friends, exactly as if we were not hundreds of miles apart. WE WILL NOT GO THE SAME COURSE MY MOM AND HER FRIENDS DID, we will continue to all 20-way call or more, whoever wants to join in. WE WILL KEEP IN TOUCH. We will! It's going to happen, there's no way I will let it not happen.
My friends and I? Yeah, we'll be together for a looonnnggg time. :)

maybe that's just me.

I feel like I'm falling and spiraling and I just can't get up. I'm sick of people, I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of feeling like I have no control over my life, and I'm sick that I haven't truly let the Lord have control yet. I'm sick of being me, I'm sick of being unhappy to be me. I'm sick, sick, SICK of hiding and holing everything up inside, and yet I'm sick of not being brave enough to let it all out. I'm sick of feeling like there's no one who really understands me, and I'm sick of having people in my life who understand me almost too much. I'm sick of life, I'm sick of my fear of death, I'm sick of loving too much and I'm sick of not loving at all. I'm sick of knowing exactly what's wrong with me, and I'm sick of not being able to figure it out. I'm sick of my parents, I'm sick of not having their respect. I'm sick of disappointing people, and I'm sick of my obsession to be constantly trying to live up to their expectations. I'm sick of hate, I'm sick of love, I'm sick of hope, and I'm sick of fear. I'm sick of trying to be someone I'm not, and I'm sick of hating who I am. I'm sick of insecurity, I'm sick of people who are fearless. I'm sick of the guilt that hangs over my head everyday, and I'm sick of not getting up and doing anything about it. I'm SICK, and it's time I got better.

But maybe that's just me.

more and more and more and more.

Movie quotes are the best.
love, friendship, faith, it's all in there.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."-Moulin Rouge

"I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture, dance like a dervish."-Meet Joe Black

"I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but in one respect I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough. "-The Notebook

"Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first."-Good Will Hunting

"It's not that I'm afraid of dying, it's that I'm afraid of time. You know, not having enough of it."-Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

"I didnt come back to tell you that i cant live without you. I can live without you. I just dont want to."-Rumor Has It

"The brave do not live forever but the cautious do not live at all."-Princess Diaries

"There are some hurts that you never completely get over. And you think that time will diminish their presence and to a degree it does, but it still hurts because well, hurt hurts."-The Story of Us

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us.”-My Wonderful Year

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once...and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."-American Beauty

"Lots of girls show their beauty because they want the world to see it, but others try to hide it so people will look for something more."-The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

"You're amazing...and I have nothing to offer you, but I'm involved now. You jump, I jump, remember? I can't turn away without knowing your going to be alright."-Titanic

"Thats what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly."-Hitch

"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, 'Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."-Breakfast at Tiffany's

"I'm fighting for something that's real for the first time in my life."-Step Up



and that, ladies & gentlemen, is how the moviemakers get you.

i got sunshine, on a cloudy day.

25 Things to Look For in a Guy:
1. He puts God first, Jesus second, and the Holy Spirit third. I'm okay with being fourth.
2. He tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
3. He loves and respects his MOM- their relationship tells exactly how he plans to treat the women in his life.
4. He doesn't let any immature friends he might have influence any of his decisions.
5. He isn't a sexist pig- he realizes that women are NOT useless beings to look at or order around.
6. He isn't in to all that "wow, look at her rack" crap.
7. He won't call me "Hott". "Beautiful" or "Lovely" is more like it.
8. He supports me in whatever I want to do in life, he wants me to achieve every dream I could ever have, and urges me forward when I stumble.
9. He isn't sloppy, lazy, rude, or OCD. On the contrary, he is neat, a hard-worker, sweet, and knows how to pick his battles.
10. He has his priorities straight.
11. He stands strong in his faith, and isn't swayed by the "temptations of the world".
12. He looks my father straight in the eye and tells him that he will take care of his little girl, and my father believes him without a doubt in his mind.
13. He completes me, compliments me, and compares me to no one. In his eyes, I am perfect.
14. He notices the little things, the good things, and the important things.
15. He lets things go, he can take a joke, and he never holds grudges.
16. He isn't cocky, he knows that the Lord is the only one who has the right to be proud of hs creations.
17. He loves to travel and wants to adopt, and he makes enough money to do both!
18. He only says things that would be uplifting, he would never want to tear me down.
19. He is respectful of women. He is polite and would never stare at pictures of boobs.
20. He is adament about helping others less fortunate- he never lets me get away with feeling sorry for myself when I am blessed beyond belief. He always thinks of others before himself, always.
21. He completley understands my boundaries. He wants his first kiss to be his wedding kiss, too!
22. He LOVES dogs.
23. He knows that country life has never been his thing, either.
24. He realizes that living a full and happy life that God will be proud of is of the upmost importance to him.
25. He sings "I got sunshine, on a cloudy day" and I know he means me.